Baseball topics I’m sick of

My last couple of columns have been feel good about baseball things.

It was, as always, getting to be a long offseason and baseball withdrawal was setting in and getting the better of me. With the smell of another spring fast approaching, my thoughts tended to drift towards the nostalgic and naive times of my youth (Editor’s note: That’s a common theme on this site.)

The anticipation of a new season was growing stronger with each day, knowing I was one step closer to the joyful cry of “play ball” once again. My email from would find my in basket any day now, announcing the renewal of my subscription. Before the end of this week, I’d be watching split squads and college players, guys with numbers in the high 90’s and names I’ve never heard of and might never again.

Maybe finally, those columnists lucky enough to be syndicated could begin to focus on the game itself. Granted, the pressure to come up with something relevant and interesting each day can be intimidating.

I’ve been put in that position myself in the past and the tendency to drift off into tabloid-like writings and ramblings can become difficult to avoid.

With all that in mind, here are some topics I would like to see put to bed:

Myth 1.  Albert Pujols Needs $30 Million Per Season for Eternity

No he doesn’t. End of discussion-end of topic. Stop asking. The St. Louis Cardinals don’t have to do anything with Pujols as he is already under contract for this season. If he doesn’t get his money at a later date the union will decry collaboration and the owners will have to pay a fine somewhere down the line for, on this occasion anyway, being sensible. There is no team out there with an opening at first base who could afford to gut their farm system in a trade for Pujols  let alone pay him what he wants.

Myth 2.  Derek Jeter Cares More About His House Than Winning

Well you have to admit, it looks like a very nice place to live.  I’ve never lived there but an apartment in New York, no matter how nice, doesn’t seem to match up very well. Granted, there are probably more corner stores and McDonalds in New York but plan ahead for those late night snacks. I don’t need to read anything else about it. Besides, we all know the Steinbrenners are nut cases anyway.

Myth 3. Michael Young Thinks The Texas Rangers Are Stupid

I can’t disagree with you on that one Mike. The Rangers, in order to improve their team, didn’t resign Cliff Lee or Vlad Guerrero because for some reason he was uncomfortable in World Series competition as their right fielder, signed Adrian Beltre ignoring the fact that he seldom makes any effort until the walk year of a contract, and alienated a hard-nosed, very productive, face of the franchise player, by moving him to third, then DH, then utility man. Management was surprised when Young publicly complained and asked to be traded.

Myth 4.  Two of Baseballs Zillionaire Owners Are Having Problems

Yeah well so am I, and I’m thinking I’m not alone. Greedy and crooked investments and marital problems seem to have the baseball writing world all in a tizzy. But not to worry-the owner’s best friend and compatriot, Bud Selig, will step in and make it all go away. You will be able to keep your mansions and yachts and condos and women-all in the best interests of baseball, and continue to complain about your publicly funded stadiums, luxury boxes and player salaries. You won’t have to take public transit or sit in the $20 bleachers, eat $6 hot dogs or drink $10 beer. I promise.

Can we please now just get on with it?  Thank you.

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